var quotes = new Array;

quotes.push("Your second toe is longer than your &quotbig&quot toe");
quotes.push("You can translate the precise meaning for bystanders when Donna sticks her head out the window of her car and screams &quotAaaaaa-auhhhh&quot.");
quotes.push("You think &quotUncle Tim&quot is one of the twelve apostles.");
quotes.push("You knew Napoleon Dynamite when he was simply known as &quotLenny Carapeza&quot.");
quotes.push("You have ever considered naming one of your boys or girls &quotDeRees&quot");
quotes.push("You established your college fund by selling sticks on the side of the road.");
quotes.push("You have a &quotRakket&quot demo tape lost somewhere in your closet.");
quotes.push("Your doctor prescribes earplugs, a blindfold and a heavy sedative so you can get some sleep when you take your family on &quotVacation&quot to Panguitch Lake.");
quotes.push("You feel compelled to correct people when they say &quotwouldn't or &quotdoesn't&quot with the more proper &quotwudden't&quot or &quotdudden't&quot");
quotes.push("You have an Uncle with a golden tooth at your wedding");
quotes.push("You have an Uncle with Billy-Bob teeth at your wedding");
quotes.push("You have thought about joining (or actually joined) the circus");
quotes.push("You like to wear pantyhose on your head!");
quotes.push("You like to wear false teeth.");
quotes.push("Your food storage is as old as you are.");
quotes.push("You've had to work your whole life");
quotes.push("You have a set of false teeth laying around (Real or Pretend)");
quotes.push("You have either given or received a lump of coal or a rotten potato as a gift");
quotes.push("You clean up after someone else's party");
quotes.push("You end your phone call with &quotSure Love Ya!&quot");
quotes.push("You have ever walked River Road to & from church");
quotes.push("You have helped at a tenderloin supper.");
quotes.push("(Contrary to President Bush's goal)...You've left at least one kid behind at one time or another");
quotes.push("Your NOSE runs and your FEET Smell");
quotes.push("You've shoveled someone else's sidewalk for free");
quotes.push("You have had a &quotpaper route&quot");
quotes.push("You've fished at Plowthow's pond");
quotes.push("You've made a batch of Indian Bread or &quotTiger Ears&quot");
quotes.push("You've Been to a Clark Family Reunion");
quotes.push("You Enjoy a Thunder & Lightning storm");
quotes.push("You've spent time in a woods hunting mushrooms to eat.");
quotes.push("You have played in a band.");
quotes.push("You've hunted for &quotnight crawlers&quot after dark");
quotes.push("You've used one of the following phrases: &quotThat pot licker&quot, &quotAhh horse feathers&quot, &quotPert 'n Near&quot,  &quotI reckon...&quot, or &quotStop your bellyachin' &quot");
quotes.push("You've hunted &quotcrawdads&quot in the stream at Maconaqua Park");
quotes.push("You love to work");
quotes.push("You respond to this survey!");
quotes.push("You stay with your relatives instead of in a hotel when visiting family");
quotes.push("Everyone at your family reunion has false teeth");
quotes.push("You know who &quotMan in Chair&quot is");
quotes.push("You wasted any time answering these questions");
quotes.push("You own Billy-Bob teeth");
quotes.push("You consider burping a mating call");
quotes.push("Your wife has to send herself flowers on her birthday");
quotes.push("You are related to Amy's dad");
quotes.push("You eat Tiger Ears for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and dessert");
quotes.push("One or more of your parents own Billy-Bob teeth");
quotes.push("You &quotdon't wear no socks&quot");
quotes.push("You never wash your black socks");
quotes.push("You have an Uncle Jed");
quotes.push("You enjoy hanging out at the river");
quotes.push("You know what to do when someone pulls your finger");
quotes.push("You can't wait for Uncle John's B-B-Q");
quotes.push("You unknowingly pass by a relative thinking &quotMan they look so familiar&quot, only later to realize it was a cousin...not that that's ever happened to me");
quotes.push("You can spend days and days on end at the family reunion actually enjoying karaoke");
quotes.push("At the Christmas gift exchange, you go for the small card-sized envelope from Uncle John, than the huge wrapped boxes...");
quotes.push("You sneak to the refrigerator at midnight for a pickle juice slushy!   :)");
quotes.push("Your mom and Dad have 12 kids");
quotes.push("You enjoy being in the circus.");
quotes.push("You have a funny sense of humor.");
quotes.push("Your second toe is longer than your first toe.");
quotes.push("Your screws are not all the way in.");
quotes.push("You come from Indiana.");
quotes.push("You like big families.");
quotes.push("You act weird once in a while.");
quotes.push("You need a vacation AFTER your family reunion");
quotes.push("You ever spent all but the last day of your family reunion in a broken down Winnebago in Salina Kansas.");


document.write(quotes[(Math.floor(Math.random() * quotes.length))]);